1. The last thing I want to do is to hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
2. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
3. If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
4. I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
5. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
6. It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.
7. Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.
8. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
9. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
10. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.